Jesse Lingard has revealed how concern for his mother, who has been battling depression led to problems with his own mental health at Manchester United.
The England international is enjoying an incredible run of form on loan at West Ham following a difficult spell at Old Trafford, due to a tough period in his personal life.
Lingard has revealed that he was forced to look after his younger siblings due to his mother’s illness and admits he tried to hide his emotions from his teammates.
“It feels like you’re not the same person, I feel like I wasn’t Jesse Lingard,” he said, speaking to Presenting. “Even in football matches, I felt like the game was just passing me by, like I just didn’t want to be there – it was crazy.”
The 28-year-old explained how his mother had struggled with depression since he was 12, and would lay in bed with the curtains closed during the day while he went out to play football, admitting “as a kid, you don’t know what that means.”
Lingard went on to explain how the pressures of top level football, along with the issues away from the pitch, soon began to impact on his own mental health.
“I was going into games happy sitting on the bench and that’s not me. My mind wasn’t there, I wasn’t focused at all. I was thinking about other things and obviously bottling it all up trying to play football, you’re tense, you’re stressed and you can’t do it.”
“There’s some days where I used to have a game at 8 o’clock and we’d go to the hotel in the afternoon, I’d sleep from 2-4, shut my curtains in the dark and then wake up in the dark and you don’t get any sunlight.”
Lingard credits the staff at Man Utd for helping him get through his problems.
Asked why he decided to share details of his problems earlier, he replied: “I feel like in life you go through difficulties, you go through stages of lows and highs, but I feel like you’ve gotta get through the lows, grind it out and you see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Source -Football365
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